Posts tagged Old School

Superfluous Face

1

So yeah, we haven’t recorded a podcast in about a month. Bad news is, this isn’t a new podcast. Good news is, thanks to James, Episode 9 was resurrected almost literally from the dead. This is kinda a rough cut, the info and news we cover is pretty old, but as always with us, it’s still funny.


Intro: Humiliation – Killer Instinct Soundtrack

Outro: Tubular Boobular – MST3K Clowns In The Sky

Play

I’m taking ‘em back. Taking ‘em all back!

0

 

 

 

Run DMC

Where has music gone? Recently I have been listening to hip hop from the mid 80′s to late 90′s, for whatever reason. This was obviously back when we were considered the real MTV generation. Of course this was also back when the “M” in MTV stood for something. That’s right kiddies, they used to play something called MUSIC back in the day on MTV. Shocking I know. The more I listen to it, the more I realize that 90% of hip hop that comes out now is complete and utter crap. Now I am not someone that starts an argument and have no knowledge of the subject matter. I have the chops to back it up. Let me show you a little more of the reason why I say this.


 

LL back in the day
LL back in the day

Back before I had a job, back before I really had any income at all, I relied on the radio (blech) to supply me with current music to listen to. I vividly remember taking cassette tapes and recording songs straight from the radio, so that I could listen to them later. Slick Rick, LL Cool J, Run DMC, even DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince were all on a tape I made at one point and time. It was actually fun to listen to the radio because the ratio of commercials to music was closer to 75/25 as apposed to the exact reverse that modern radio stations are now. But this isn’t a rant against radio in general (that may come later) it is however one against the “music” they claim to play on there now.

 


Once I started to get a little money, either through chores around the house or early jobs, I would occasionally go to the local music store (usually Peaches) and get a tape. In the late 80′s early 90′s the only thing I listened to was Hip Hop. I had a pile of tapes, good and bad, to reflect my choice of style. Like I said before I was totally into Run DMC, Slick Rick, EPMD, and the occasional Public Enemy. I’m sure it must have been pretty funny to see this little white kid come in and buy “Fear of a Black Planet” back in the day. Also you have to remember that this is before Parental Advisory stickers were really enforced… at ALL.


Anyway, the beats were tight, involved, and sometimes even technical. Sure they had a lot of sampling in them, but they at least seemed like someone put forth some effort to get something that sounded good out of them. Listen to the musical stylings of “Mike Jones” and tell me that he put effort and thought into one of those beats. Honestly, I can do about as much if not better on a casio keyboard from 86 and a recording of preschool nursery rhyme songs. It’s truly deplorable. Then there is the trend of Auto-Tuning your vocals. Ugh… It was funny when it was done in the “I’m On A Boat” song by Lonely Island, but not in every song on the radio. I realize that you have no true vocal talent and can’t hold a note, but using that effect is inexcusable. T-Pain I am now talking directly to YOU! Please just stop.


 

Wheels of Steele

Wheels of Steele

Then you get into the songs by “rappers” that claim to be “Hip Hop” and all they do is talk about how many people they have shot, or how much drugs they used to sling in the hood. If you’re going to talk all kinds of yang like that at least put it into an amazingly fluid flow of lyrics. Other wise, don’t bother. Now admittedly I own a couple of albums by some of the aforementioned persons, but that is only because they fit into one of the required categories. They either have to lyrical content, or the beats have to be sick. Case in point, Big Punisher (RIP). His fat  ass was absolutely AMAZING at putting together a line in a song. 

 


I just wish that we could get back to songs like “Summer Time” by DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince, or maybe even “You be Illin” from Run DMC. You know the music that you could listen to with your boys in the car or your grandma and it wouldn’t make a difference. Increase the Peace. That’s all I am trying to say. Give up all this aggression and go back to PROgression. Please don’t tell me that this IS progression, that’s bull shit. Just like people that can’t pronounce words so they slur everything, all you are doing is devolving into grunting moaning blobs of untalented flesh. Thanks for showing the rest of the world that you are boycotting language skills in the pursuit of money and fame.


I guess what I am trying to get at in this rant is that the Hip Hop that kids are growing up with today in the mainstream is NOTHING close to what it was when the movement started. Sugar Hill Gang would not be happy at the way things have gone since “Rappers Delight” started it all. This is a case where you SHOULD hate the “playa” not the game.

Twisted Metal (The Series)

0

 

The Twisted Metal Black Players

 

 

An evil clown is on the loose. He is trying to run down other cars on the road in his ice-cream truck, his head is on fire and he is shooting out ice-cream cone missiles. No it isn’t the plot to some failed attempt by the Insane Clown Posse to break into NASCAR… its just part of the fun of Twisted Metal. 


The term “Vehicular Combat” is a term that wouldn’t even exist if it wasn’t for the Twisted Metal series. Twisted Metal was and IS a series that has always been about the fantasy of being able to roll down the street and obliterate anything in your path that you want. What other game lets you drive, an Ice-Cream truck or a guy tethered between two giant wheels named Axel, through the Eiffel Tower, AFTER you just knocked it over? None games that what.


The first game, looking back on it now, is very ugly, seriously ugly. However at the time it was an amazing achievement in video games. Driving around, and in some cases, through towns, blasting away at your foes with all sorts of shock and awe inducing weapons. It was a teenagers dream. I literally think that i played that game so much i wore out my first PSOne. I would take it to all my friends houses just so we could play it non-stop. We would set up a sort of “pass the controller” tournament, and play for the better part of a weekend.


Not to mention when Twisted Metal 2 came out. Which by the way I got my first (and only) ticket for in my car. Long story short i was in a hurry to pick up my copy and didn’t completely stop at a stop sign and got pulled… blah! I think we played the second game even more than the first. To this day the second stands out as the best in the series. Thinking about it now, i may have to go home and buy it off the PSN so that i can own it again.


 

If you really want to put a story behind the series, it is pretty simple to lay out. The contestants in the “Twisted Metal Tournament” are all out to win because, if they do manage to stay alive long enough they have one wish granted to them. Some are lunatics that just want revenge (as in Sweet Tooth’s case) some are out to clean up the streets, and some just want their life back. Simply put they are all out to destroy what ever they have to in order to get their wish. Who is granting these wishes? Well that would be the mysterious Calypso. If I remember correctly his wishes were all granted in that “Twilight Zone” kinda way where you get what you want but not the way you want it. I guess like “The Gift of the Magi” way, but without the love story.


sweettooth

Want Some Cotton Candy?

The series had a great run at first. The first, probably, three games were relatively we received by gamers and critics alike. The series after part three took a sharp nose dive however. There were a couple more sequels on the PSOne, then a God-awful version called “Twisted Metal: Small Brawl” that seemed to be aimed at kids. The series did experience a “re-birth” of sorts on the PS2 with Twisted Metal black and then on the PSP with a port called Twisted Metal: Head On. After those two games though the Twisted Metal franchise has pretty much gone into hiding. There have been several rumors that it is coming back (again) on the PS3, but nothing concrete has ever surfaced. 


Interesting to note that David Jaffe was one of the Lead Designers on the original Twisted Metal. You may know him from his other popular body of work, Calling All Cars… wait, I mean, God Of War. He himself has not come out right and said “There will be another game” however the tech nerds of the world deciphered a jumble of numbers at the end of Head On and discovered that it said “Twisted Metal is coming to PS3″. So you can take that however you like. I for one would be very happy to have a new game, so long as it is in the vein of the first three or Black and not the others. 


This game is just mind-numbing fun. Get a bunch of friends together and slap in this game and see if you aren’t enjoying yourselves 5 mins into it. After writing this article, I am now positive that I will be going home tonight and downloading TM2 for my PS3. If you have never played the series you should at the very least check it out somehow. Just be sure to stay away from the Ice-Cream truck, Sweet Tooth is the kind of clown that people have nightmares about.

The Arcade

1

There will come a day, probably soon, where kids growing up will have no idea what being in an Arcade was like. It is probably hard for most adults my age, and a little older, to imagine such a thing, but sadly, it is true. That is why instead of reviewing a game today for Way Back Wednesday™ i have chosen to spin the tale of Arcades in my life.


I have been thinking over the past several days of what my first Arcade experience was, and best i can figure, it was Chuck-E-Cheese in the early 80′s. I used to have all my birthday parties at that place (“T’was the style at the time”) and can remember playing games like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong endlessly with my parents money. There was also the table top arcade games like Galaga and Ms. Pac-Man at out local Pizza Hut that would devour quarters at an alarming rate. Finally there was the “Kids Area” of a local furniture dealer that had an arcade version of Popeye that was free to play. Going furniture shopping with my parents was never a problem.


Moving into adolesance, and once my parents moved us into the sticks, the only arcade time i got was at a mall that opened up a few years afterwards. I can remember going into that place and playing all the “new” games and never wanting to leave when my parents were done shopping. Since i didn’t have a car the parents were the only way of getting there, i had to seem like i liked shopping just to get a free ride. One time our school took a “Field Trip” to the mall (exciting i know) and that was where one of my favorite memories of arcades took place. A bunch of students, after we ate in the food court, went into the arcade and starting playing the X-Men game. That big ass two screen arcade cabinet that had like six sticks on it. Well we all piled on that thing and starting going to town. Nothing much really about the game itself was extremely fun, however the people playing it were. I can remember one of my friends in the jungle level SCREAMING at the top of his lungs like that damn howler monkey in the background. I think we may have gotten ourselves kicked out, but it was so worth it to hear him yelling exactly like that monkey over and over again. 


Arcades all over America are all the same. They smell the same, are mostly laid out the same, and they all bring a smile to the face of any true gamer. Once when i went on a trip with a friend to Disney World, we stayed in the park itself. That alone is amazing (i highly suggest if you can that you do it) but one day we decided to just take the monorail around to all the different Hotels and “explore”. One of the hotels we stopped in was the “Contemporary”. It’s a giant triangle that the monorail runs directly through. On one of the levels was an arcade. So naturally we had to stop and play some games. I walked up to the “Virtual Cop” light gun arcade game and plunked in my quarters. Several dollars and about an hour later i had beaten my first arcade game, on vacation, in Disney World! Truly something that i could be proud of, in my own little dorky way.  


Going into the Arcade at my local mall was second nature to me. Once i got my license i would drive out there about once a week and just walk around the mall for a little while, check the shops, then make my way to the arcade. I always enjoyed going in because i got to see what new games were out. By then i had come to find that most of the new games in the arcade would soon be coming to home consoles as well. One game always grabbed my eye, and i couldn’t go in without playing it; Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat is the first game that i actually could play with confidence that i would get through several opponents before i knew i was in trouble. It also was the first game that i took the time to memorize moves so that i could go in and pull of the finishers. Which i did the first time and was elated to see Sub-Zero rip someones head off and claim Victory. After playing through several different versions of fighters and beat-em-ups i decided that the only game i could consistently beat on a regular basis was Tekken 2. Me and my Wang… Wang being the character i used. I could tear through that game from start to finish in less than 10 mins. It was great. 


I asked around, to a bunch of my friends and people that i work with, what their favorite games or moments of arcades were. Most were pretty much the same. Going into an Arcade and picking your machine and just doing your best to dominate it. Be that by going on a winning streak only broken by the fact you had to stop playing, or finishing a game over and over again because you worked there and got free tokens. Pretty much everyone played either the Street Fighter type games, or the light gun games. There wasn’t much love for the side-scrollers or the beat-em-ups. I for one loved side-scrollers. Games like N.A.R.C., Ikari Warriors, Final Fight, Die Hard, and like my friend (Brian) reminded me of, Bad Dudes. The old school didn’t get much representation either which is kind of disheartening. No one said they loved playing Galaga, RoboTron, or Defender, and sad as it may sound, not one person mentioned Space Invaders. I guess it could have been the crowd i was asking, but still you would think someone would represent the old school. 


My point is this: Most any gamer that was born in the late 70′s early 80′s can give you their favorite all time arcade game. I can guarantee that when you ask them about arcades in general, they will immediately get a picture of one in their head they used to go to on a regular basis. I can remember going with several friends to several different arcades in one night. We would hit one up, then make our way to another and another just because we got tired of the same games at one. 


Arcades are a dying breed now. You’re hard pressed to find one if you don’t live in some population booming area or Japan. And based on what i understand, even in Japan they are slowly going away. Even recent games like Street Fighter IV and Tekken 6 can’t change that. There is hope though. Places like Jillian’s and Harry and David’s are trying to entice adult gamers back to the arcades. How do they do that? With beer, that’s how. Both establishments are giant arcades that have a bar located right in the middle. Drink your beer, play your games, remember all those good things from your childhood. It wasn’t at either of those, but at a place similar, where i beat Super Punch-Out, completely smashed. 


I just hope that my child has a chance to enjoy the fun, the smells, and the sounds of arcades before they die off totally. I wouldn’t be involved in the things i am now if it wasn’t for arcades. It definitely made a big impact in my life, and i wouldn’t trade those memories in for all the skeeball tickets in the world.

Burger Shots?

0

Back in the late 80′s there was a thing at Burger King called “Burger Buddies”. I don’t remember how long they lasted, but I know this, they were delicious when I was a kid. Well they are back, I guess in a way. 


Burger King is now offering and notice I am quoting “Burger Shots”. They are mini burgers, however instead of being sold in a set of three apparently they are being sold as a set of two. They also have Burger Shot breakfast sandwiches. The verdict is still out on the breakfast ones, but i hear that the regular Burger Shots aren’t very good. Which is a shame b/c much like everything else from my childhood, its not as good as i remember it to be. Anyway I was just thinking about it and wondered if anyone else remembered the Burger Buddy days. 



Rise Of The Triad (PC)

0

Back in high school i didn’t have a lot of money. I worked a really crappy job at a grocery store for minimum wage and what money i made went to essentials. My computer wasn’t the best “gaming rig”, and still isn’t. However i could play a select few games that would stick with me the rest of my life. Rise of the Triad was one such game.

 

You have to realize when i say back in the day,i mean back when computers were still numbered. I had an IBM 486 and felt like i was king of the world with my 24x speed CD ROM. My friend also had a 486 and one day while hanging out at his house he showed me a new game he was playing. I had never heard of Rise of the Triad (ROTT for short) but i loved other first person shooters on the PC and was willing to try something new. Boy am i glad i did.

 

You play as one of five chosen members of H.U.N.T. (High-risk United Nations Task-force). Each with their own strengths and weaknesses. You are sent on a mission to — island to investigate a cult that is conducting business there. Needless to say things go bad quickly, and the cult destroys you boat and the only way off the island. Thus forcing you to fight your way trough waves of evil cult members to get at the leader.

 

Fight through many different levels in varying stages and settings. Defeat cult members, security, monks, and even robots (NME). All the standard (early FPS)  weapons are present, pistols, machine guns, drunk missiles, hand of God…wait is that right?Yup, power ups included; Shroom mode, Dog mode, and God mode, where you have God-like power to destroy enemies in a ball of energy.

 

The music in this game was pretty forgettable, except the one song I included. The sound clips however were wonderfully hilarious! Enemies would yell anything from “Ha!” , “Gotcha” even “They’ll bury you in a lunchbox!” One of my favorite things to do in the game was unleash a barrage of Drunk Missiles and wait for the “sqwick” as they found their target.

 

I played ROTT up until my first computer died on me. When I got a new computer I was very excited to try out ROTT with the new processor, and monitor, and modem (so i could play online with my friends). Much to my dismay, ROTT didn’t work with windows, and the Compaq that we got didn’t allow it to work AT ALL in DOS. I spent the next 10 or so years (seriously) trying to find a way to play the game on an up to date computer. Then one day I stumbled across “WinROTT” and I was happy again! I still had my original Disc of the game and immediately tried it out. After trying, and failing, so many times before on many a different computer I was skeptical, but much to my surprise it worked. Called up my friend got him hooked up with it, and we have been playing off and on ever since. What better way to end the story but with a “lived happily ever after” moment. 

 

Interesting little side note, ROTT didn’t actually start out as an original IP. Actually it was going to be a sequel to Wolfenstein 3D, entitled Wolfenstein 3D: Rise of the Triad. That’s why the enemies in the game look like they are wearing some Nazi knock off uniforms, and why the cult members had MP-40′s as well as Heat Seeking Missiles. Also they were going to have male AND female enemies but budget and time didn’t allow it, but the female voices are all on the disc for you to listen to. I always wondered why they had those samples on there but I never remembered seeing a female in the game. Now you (and I) know.

 

*keep an eye open for “Scott’s Mystical Head” I found it once…once*

Go to Top